Broke in more than one way

Hello ~ Not really in top mood tonite ... Decided to pop by and pour out some of my problems so i don't have to feel so alone ... Hate handling problems alone though more than often i've come to not only learn but grown accustomed to do so ...
Well ... As suggested Broke in more than one ways ... To start with i'm literally BROKE ... running low on fundings ... esp with so much activities in May ... hope i'll get some assignments for June at least can make some cash =P
Then i've broke my promise to myself ... To strive for academic excellence this semester ... NOT working out ... Gotta work harder ... Also another promise broken to oneself ... wanted to get fitter ... but not working hard enough to do so ...
Broken hearted once again ... same girl ... i wonder why i just can't let the past go and move on ... I really like to know why I simply cannot forget her ... well guess wad ... she was back from Tasamania for abt 10 days ... as much as i suspected from her unusual hours online of late ... but she didn't bother to even say hi when she saw me online ... when i actually msg her, she could give me no more than cold short replies ... so once again ... if so ... why does it still hurt so much ... for someone who feels nothing more for me ... how issit i can feel so much for ! ArgHz ! SICK !!!
Brusting brain cells ... Well ... talking abt moving on ... I've been thinking hard abt someone and whether i should really move in & give it a try ... But too many factors really linger within my thoughts ... Would she like me ? Do i have enough points for anyone to like me enough to want to be with me ? Do i still have the capacity to truely love ? What if she doesn't like me ? How would i react ? Wad if ... There is just too much to think abt ... too much to lose ... too much to sacrifice ... too much at risk ... But the question now should be ... Do i have the guts to give myself the chance to find the answers to all these question ?
OH ya ... the chatter box seems to be giving me some funny technical problems ... Too lazy to fix it ... Too stressed perhaps ... Or perhaps i just can't be bothered anymore ... Someone once told me ... everybody got their ups and downs ... well i say i'm getting too many downs and not enough ups ... Damn ~ where comes justice and balance ? wherefore does the gods pitch me in such torments ? how am i to put faith in any god when my life is in such a state ? Damn the devil ... true ... yet no god has came in my times of need to show me mercy nor give me aid ... Has the heaven earth and hell forsaken me ? Is there no one who is so benovelent to lend a hand to poor me ?
*looks into the stars*
Even so the FoX will survive ... I'll pull through ... I always DO ... Just Watch Me ...