If u guys remember the post I once made regarding how some people can pour every bit of love they have into someone's life and yet the other party simply doesn't notice and may even be only pouring love elsewhere ?
I guess all of a sudden I feel guilty ... Life has been an emotional roller coaster for me ... Alot stuff been happening ... I feel neglected ... I feel lost ... I'm in pain ... But in this process of self pity I've become what i hate the most (self-centered, ignorant, unreasonable, childish) ... I'm so focus on getting one person's attention ... I failed to realise that there are those who are giving me attention and waiting for me to respond ... =( I'm sorry people ... Simon has not been the guy you all know ... Amongst all ... I wanna publicly apologise to xj who has always been there for me just that i never really showed appreciation nor did i responded well to her =(
Thankz xj ~
Emotions surely has taken its toll this time around ... find my academic performance dropping, my physical performance dropping, my abilities to communicate to entertain ... everything ... What is wrong with me ? It has never came to this point before ... gotta pull myself together =\ Come on Simon ~ Time to get back on track ...
Staff and student was a diaster with me not being on top form ... =( I'm sorry edmund and huiting ... sorry Ayu , Hardi and Shu Juan ... But then again I think its just my high expectations ... met a few peeps ... appears we've made quite an impact =)
Well ... I have mentioned in previous post abt this bugger who walked into my life and intended to make his problem mine ? Guess he must be the evil I must remove ... YET I feel sorry for him ... I feel that If I'm to seriously take actions against him ... then he might not be able to take it ... BUT ... Its hard to choose between killing yourself and someone else ... liddat how ? someone tell me please ? God's choice is clear ... self sacrifice ... but I'm not God ... so how ?
*looks into the heavens* Shine me thy guiding light ?
Thursday, September 01, 2005
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