Couple of Hours to End of Exams !

HEllo ... thought i drop by to leave a few words before i go for my IPC which is at 09 00 hrs 8th May 2004 ....
Done all my revision work ... feeling really low ... no confidence at all ... Pray hard for me people ! Anywayz ... 1R05 gonna have my name in there somewhere liao i suppose ... so heck !
Okiez ... Thats abt it for now ! =P Ciao ~

Quote of the day : "Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow. That I shall say good night till it be morrow." --- Quote from Shakespear's R&J

A blast from the past ?

Seriously ... I don't know what to put up here these days ... Its always wake up study ... rest and study then u know the rest ... OH well ... Anywayz i did take a trip to YCK Gym with shahid today ... met my uncle there ... *weird* never crossed my mind he is the gym kinda guy *rolls eyes in thought* .....
Heck ... people won't think i'm the gym kinda guy either ... haha ! >p
Back in sec 4 after i was FORCED to drop A Maths (Not that i like any kinda Maths) .... I took deep interest in poetry ... a couple of reasons ... <1> I'm a literature student (what more can u expect ?) <2> My class was crazy over poetry (Only Pure Lit class -_-") <3> I was in love =P
Oh well ... chanced upon one of my works back then today while packing up some stuff ... so decided i'll put it up ... Enjoy =)


Love …

Always had I wondered,
What is this mysterious strength?
For ages had men pondered,
How it last for such eternal length?

Indeed it holds much mystery
Though older than time it could be
Love to now is yet defined clearly
By any man to me

Love so said to be
By my mother once to me
Is her unconditioned care,
For me, for eternity.

Yet there was once this priest,
Who claim love to be a gift from HE,
HE who had been said to be,
The one who created you and me.

All this claims,
Are true as can be.
Yet it confuses me
Till this day …

Yes today, this very day,
Even as I proclaim my love to thee.
And define it to be
My undying crave to be with ye.

Simon Soh
2002


Quote of the Day "|oVe is like the wind , it is felt Not SeeN NoR HeArD ..."---Theorem of Le FoX (abstracted from "A Walk To Remember")

Major Sianzation ...

Haiz ... Hello i suppose ...
A little down today ... Been working hard on maths ... Took maths papers today ... but ended not enough time to finish ... haiz ... guess i'm gonna fail ... lost 39/40 marks due to time and my incompetence in maths ...
OH yar ... Laptop adaptor burnt out ... so haven't been able to update ...
Anywayz ... the day wasn't that bad apart from maths paper ... Went for a swim with jess jia and dwright after the paper ... swimming and chilling for abt an hour or so in that pool sort took the loads of my mind for abit... just floating ard in that anti-gravitic enviroment really takes the toll off one's mind body and soul ... =) Love swimming but ngee ann pool abit too alkaline ? I don't know ... soapy la ...
However, I think i might go back to my coach ... go apply for my Award Distinction in Lifesaving techniques ....
Well ... That'll be abt it for now ... Take care folks ...

What kinda fencer are u ?

Well ... Been out all day studying and I must say ... Woodlands Regional Library is a real hot place to study ... It opens at 12 but by 11 there are plenty of people jammed at its gates waiting ...
Anywayz took this quiz which i find darn inaccurate ... I'm a sabere lor ! Say i'm a foilist -_- " ... or perhaps i'm better off a foilist ... Hmmm...

This is wad i got :

You are a foil fencer. Foil is a weapon of calculation and passion. You glide easily between attack and defense. You can flick to the back or thrust to the chest. What Kind of Fencer Are You?

This is more like wad I'm supposed to get (or I'd like to get):

You are a sabre fencer. Sabre is a weapon of explosiveness and brawn. You are almost always on the offense. You can score touches by thrusting or cutting. What Kind of Fencer Are You?

Oh well ... Leave it be =P Just another quiz
Going back to study now =( Stupid maths ... Never liked it Never will ... But nonetheless ... I'll pull through =) Today's quote was given to me by my "lil' kitten" ... Enjoy

Quote of the day: "STRESSED is just DESSERTS speLled bAckwArds"----Theorem of Le FoX (Quote Provided by YeeWen)

Hello

Not much to share today ... Feeling hopeless ... Tried to study maths but didn't work out ... Went to the gym with shahid and then had dinner out again ... gonna be damn broke ~~~ haiz ...
Well ... First aid course is in a mess and i've much more others to plan too ... lacking in participation ... Anyone interested ? 21st-23rd of June 2004 ? Ngee Ann Students get subsidy =P Give me a call ya ... 91009518 (any prank callers will suffer the wrath of LeFoX... I mean it ... Not in a good mood)
Heres a little poem i find really meaningful perhaps at times i feel the same way...


The Greatest Pain In Life

The greatest pain in life is not to die,
but to be ignored.


To lose the person you love so
much to another who doesn't care at all.


To have someone you care so about so much throw a party...
and not tell you about it.


When your favorite person on earth
neglects to invite you to his graduation.


To have people think that you don't care.


The greatest pain in life,
is not to die,
but to be forgotten.


To be left in the dust after another's great achievement.


To never get a call from a friend,
just saying "hi".


When you show someone your innermost thoughts and they laugh in your face.


For friends to always be too busy to console you when you need someone to lift your spirits.


When it seems like the only person who cares about you,
is you.


Life is full of pain,
but does it ever get better?


Will people ever care about each other,
and make time for those who are in need?


Each of us has a part to play
in this great show we call life.


Each of us has a duty to mankind
to tell our friends we love them.


If you do not care about your friends
you will not be punished.


You will simply be ignored...
forgotten...
as you have done to others.


Quote of the day: "The worse way to miss anyone is to be right nxt to him/her knowing you can't have his/her heart"---Theorem of Le FoX

Amazing !

Yesh ! End of practical exams ! Muhahahaha ~~~ *evil laughter* =P
Lets work backwards today ... =D
The day ended well ... dinner with my "brother", Bevan. This is another guy who has been through alot with me =) All the way from that fateful day in the science lab when we were in sec 1 ... Buddies to Brother ... this is one of those family friends of mine ... everyone in the family knows him and mum is very fond of him ... -_-" *jealous*
Ah yesh ... Studied after MicroBio Practs with Jessie ... Simon ... Huiz and Zhen You ...
MB pract was a killer ! Stupid Gram -ve stain ... i can't see nothing on that damn slide ... so i wrote *colour appreciation deficiency* at the corner of the paper and handed it up ...
Yesterday was good ... Dinner with Cpt Oh ... David and Kiddo ... Lots of laughs
Free Fenced and got injured but it was fun and destressing (not that i really needed to destress but ... =P)
Went to book the chalet for the class ... long trip but was cool ...
Last tennis session ... It was cool but i fear there is much to learn abt tennis ... same goes to fencing *lol*
Okie so much for working backwards *sweat* hardwork man ~~ But fun =P nxt time perhaps I'll do it again
Ritez ... the title ... Amazing how many people actually reads this blogsite ! I'm stunned ... and so many who actually knows me ... god ... and i don't even publicise it ... anywayz ... people ... plz ar ... wad i write is wad i feel ... don't come and condem be horz ... disclaimer already states read at ur own risk =P Anywayz those who has left comments thankz ! really touched ... =D Someone came to me lately with reference to my entry on AGM again ... got me to think ... and answer is YES i want to make myself known and i do wanna do something great ... YES u can say i was dying for a position with NPOB ... But no ... i don't do things without thinking ... everything i do i do for/with a cause !

Quote of the day: "One destination, Many approaches, One goal Diversity of experiences"---Theorem of Le FoX

Broke in more than one way

Hello ~ Not really in top mood tonite ... Decided to pop by and pour out some of my problems so i don't have to feel so alone ... Hate handling problems alone though more than often i've come to not only learn but grown accustomed to do so ...
Well ... As suggested Broke in more than one ways ... To start with i'm literally BROKE ... running low on fundings ... esp with so much activities in May ... hope i'll get some assignments for June at least can make some cash =P
Then i've broke my promise to myself ... To strive for academic excellence this semester ... NOT working out ... Gotta work harder ... Also another promise broken to oneself ... wanted to get fitter ... but not working hard enough to do so ...
Broken hearted once again ... same girl ... i wonder why i just can't let the past go and move on ... I really like to know why I simply cannot forget her ... well guess wad ... she was back from Tasamania for abt 10 days ... as much as i suspected from her unusual hours online of late ... but she didn't bother to even say hi when she saw me online ... when i actually msg her, she could give me no more than cold short replies ... so once again ... if so ... why does it still hurt so much ... for someone who feels nothing more for me ... how issit i can feel so much for ! ArgHz ! SICK !!!
Brusting brain cells ... Well ... talking abt moving on ... I've been thinking hard abt someone and whether i should really move in & give it a try ... But too many factors really linger within my thoughts ... Would she like me ? Do i have enough points for anyone to like me enough to want to be with me ? Do i still have the capacity to truely love ? What if she doesn't like me ? How would i react ? Wad if ... There is just too much to think abt ... too much to lose ... too much to sacrifice ... too much at risk ... But the question now should be ... Do i have the guts to give myself the chance to find the answers to all these question ?
OH ya ... the chatter box seems to be giving me some funny technical problems ... Too lazy to fix it ... Too stressed perhaps ... Or perhaps i just can't be bothered anymore ... Someone once told me ... everybody got their ups and downs ... well i say i'm getting too many downs and not enough ups ... Damn ~ where comes justice and balance ? wherefore does the gods pitch me in such torments ? how am i to put faith in any god when my life is in such a state ? Damn the devil ... true ... yet no god has came in my times of need to show me mercy nor give me aid ... Has the heaven earth and hell forsaken me ? Is there no one who is so benovelent to lend a hand to poor me ?
*looks into the stars*
Even so the FoX will survive ... I'll pull through ... I always DO ... Just Watch Me ...

Happy Bday Hui Hui !

Heyz ! Been away for awhile ... pretty bz ... been home late the couple of days ... What have i been up to ? Heres an update :
-GL trainings
-Matriculation Booth Duty (LSCT and OB)
-Fencing trainings
-Fencing Camp Planning
-Venturejuwana Planning
Well ... hmm ... haven't been scoring in tests that i've taken ... expected for maths ... but for MB i'm pretty disappointed ... Gotta work hard soon =(
Anywayz ... Thursday was Hui Hui's bday ... but we only celebrated it today together with DJ's ... supposed to celebrate at crystal jade ... but i was late due to a meeting with Cpt Oh (fencing SDO) ... But managed to meet up with the main group after lunch and bowled a couple of rounds at marina followed by dinner at BK and a movie. "Into the Mirror" great show muz watch =P took us like forever just to pyscho Hui to watch it ! hehe ... Long day but it was fun !

Easter Day !

YoZ ! Happy Easter people ! Now ... first to clearify i always had this concept that Easter is the Sunday after Good Friday ... But someone told me that Easter IS Good Friday ... I don't know (can someone plz clearify?)... Anywayz Happy Easter !
Well ... Friday was good ... Saturday ... Well ... IAC presentation which i conviently used the "smoke screen" technique to get through went real well =P But i guess abit too much of that cause a headache which saw me flying home dizzy ...
But got better in the evening and a good thing i did =P Met up with shahid, my "brother" through joys and cries ... This is one guy i could had known since primary 4 but i never did till sec 1 ... NPCC squadmate ... fellow Student Councillor and a friend through and through ... We went to sim lim tower to get some stuff for his engineering project ... Followed by dinner at Apollo Banana Leaf =P Great dinner indeed ... Had a nice long talk all the way through =) Always enjoy his company though at times we don't really talk haha !
Today wasn't much woke up ... supposed to meet my classmates to book a chalet but cancelled last minute... So went to try putting on contact lenses AGAIN ... gave up after 2 hrs ... came home ... did some revision ... but nothing seems to had gotten in ... went online ... saw joyce online ... didn't bother to say hi ... don't know why but it seems like up till now i'm either not forgiven (for a crime i know not wad) or she just feels too awkard to speak to me ...
Oh well ... Upcoming week is gonna be a killer .... IPC theory ... IPC practical ... SN partical ... alot of test ... -_-" better get going ...
Au Revour Monaime

Passion of Christ

Hello Hello =) Today is Good Friday ... and i must say indeed a very good good friday for yours truely =P Lets talk abit about my day shall we ? =)
Started my day a wake up call from Jessie ... which i sorta woke up answered and went rite back to sleep ... Sorry Jess ... Okie supposed to meet her but I suppose her sis and friends got fed up with waiting for me so they left =( Sorry again ...
Anywayz found my way to sch ... Enjoyed a little game of badminton with Jess Lix Uncle D and some of their friends ... Got to know some new peeps and had some fun good deal =P
Sadly didn't get to stay in game for long ... had to rush for a movie "The Passion Of The Christ" by Mel Gibson ... Glad i went for it ... Great show ! effects were so realistic and every scene u can actually feel for the actor ... wow ... the director the makeup artist the creative director whoever took part in making this film come to screen are great i tell u ! Must watch ! Oh and i must thank Jia for the free tickets from her friend's church =P Thanks kiddo !
Following that was dinner @ pastamania with Jess Hui and Eugene ... Then we headed for Trinity Christian Centre where we enjoyed a short musical called ... erm ... "Caught , Not in the act" ... touching tale of this guy who gave up everything even his life for his adopted brother ... Courage indeed ... Sadly just a show =(
Well so then comes Pastor Dennis who tried to get me to "accept christ" as he puts it ... at first i was merely entertaining him while waiting for hui who has actually accepted christ and went for some proceedure of registration ? i'm not sure ... But as our converstaion developed ... we went into a whole series of discussions and such ... i'll skip the details but we end with him inviting me to a workshop "defending your faith" where he'll answer all the tough questions with logical and acceptable facts ... which i promised him i'll attend and if he can by then convince me i'll accept christ =P
Thats abt that time to rush my IAC ... -_-"

Speak the Unspoken pain ...

HIz ... Once again i come to realise there are people who actually come read my blog ... -_-"
First thing thanks people for bothering to read the bloggie and thanks for all the encouragement and stuff with reference to my previous entry =) Always nice to know you lot care
Ritez ... Some have came read and told me to remove that last entry ... Others felt that I have every right to put up whatever i want to on my blog ... I have been considering all these points and never came through with a sound decision yet ... Guess i'll keep it here for awhile =) Sorry to disappoint those who expects me to remove it
I know many find that i was too harsh with my words but dissappointment when you put in effort deals great damage to one ... especially for a slacker like myself who don't really put effort in many things ...
Hmm ... life goes on ... alot to think abt ... maths being top on the list of concerns ... exams are going to flood me real soon ... been very slack eversince AGM ... no drive to serve commitment to any of my CCAs ... not studying at home either ... just been very very slack ... A few consolations to myself ... at the very least i've still been able to drag myself to every class ... and i've been jogging =)
Big things in my life of late ?
Well ... 1 thing would be the matters of the heart ... been thinking alot abt moving on ... great times with joyce stills lingers deep within me ... but our break up and the conseqences i faced ... the pain ... that too habours in my mind everytime i want to move on ... there is someone i want to try out ... but there is too much to lose and Fear holds me back ...
2nd thing would be something that would be rather on going for awhile ... "Venturejuwana --- Age Old Addiction to Adventure" This is one of the projects i took up along with brian ... I'll talk more abt it another day perhaps ... But basically its a camp for youths ... been working on it for awhile now ... abt a month ...
Well ... i'm blogging today ... for those who has been following ... you maybe looking for something extreme from me again ... but well not today ... just bored ...

Ngee Ann Outward Bounders Annual General Meeting

Hello ... knowing me ... updating out of nowhere means something extreme muz have happened ... so to those looking for something nice today isn't the good extremity ... so you've been warned ...
Well AGM is finally here ... working hard whole year long just to make it to the commitee and show some worth. Thought getting in the comm would be something to finally boost my morale a little from all those drawbacks last year ... but guess wad ... I lost yet again ... losing is one thing ... losing to people i deem myself as more competent to is a totally different story. I don't mind if i didn't make the position because i'm not as competent to fill the post but this ... its absurb ! Commitment ... i've given more time to OB than to myself or anyother thing i've done ! Skills ? I'm better trained ... 4 years in NPCC ... 3 years in the council ... 2 years as a level head ... 1 year as quaters master and chief of safety ! and fuck ... i can't win someone without as much experience or commitment ? I don't know what they are thinking abt !

Merry Xmas !

Of all things ... I nv imagined myself carolling for a church which i'm not even a member of :P but yeah this xmas eve i've dedicated myself to Hope Of God Singapore (Ngee Ann CareGroup) for one nite ... Helping them raise funds for their church building as well as having a great time ... I won't say my motives were right and i definately gained more than i gave ... However it was fun =) Caroling with NgeeAnn, Republic Poly and Various Dipolma Institutions
The spirit of Xmas this year was truely seen ... for once ever since god knows when ...
To my friends (Old & New) : Merry Xmas n may u be blessed
To my family : I may nv show that i love U ... But its cause u nv let me ... Merry Xmas
To joyce : Merry Xmas =) I love U ... Truely i do ... But since u cannot accept that ... I'm sorry I've to move on ... Thanks for everything especially the Great times we shared... may our memories live on =P
To YeeWen : Merry Xmas =) Smile More Kitty :D A little smile goes a long long way ...
To my Brothers n Sisters : U guys had been great ... U've been the closest ppl to me ... perhaps closer than family =) Merry Xmas & thankz for being there when u were !

Hello Hello =P

Got lots of request i make an effort to actually maintain this blog site and put up more than extreme moments ... but tts wad i live on wad can i say :P anywayz here i'm trying to do wad i can abt it ;p
Life goes on ... New semester starting soon ... don't know why but i'm not at all excited abt it ... maybe coz the lecturers aren't very much rumoured as anything tts good -_-" haha ... but i really muz not be prejudiced against them ... Should give them a chance to prove the rumours wrong ! haha ... *rubbish*
For those wondering hows my holidays ... Heres a lil' summary :
-1st semester holidays since joining NP
-Pretty slack ... Very Slack ... nothing to study ahead on ... nothing to study back on ...
-High point: Unlimited chalet ... though not everyone turned up :( it went pretty well ...
-High point again: X'troVenture Camp ... though again not very fun ... but it wasn't too bad :P
-Then post camp days ... very sian ...
-Most recent: whole week of fencing training ... owe them alot of commitment

Thats abt it for now =)

Quote of the day --- > "In The Circle Of Life ... There Is No Definate Right Or Wrong"---Theorem of Le FoX

Ah a good day indeed !

Heyz ... a change of luck ? Haha ... Anywayz ... Freaking excited ! I'm going for an interview with an adventure consultancy as a freelance instructor ! =) This is a dream come true ! Lets hope i pass the interview =P Wish me luck peepz !

Irony Of Life ...

Who am i lying to ... How can life be truely good for me ? haha ...
OH well ... I guess i should complain less ...
Ironic isn't it ... I waited for ages just for her Os to come to an end ... I kept asking myself to believe that there is a chance ... And now the day has come ... Shes talking to me ... I've so much to say ... so much to share ... She is the first person to ever make me feel how it is like to miss someone ... How much it hurts to love one person while not knowing if the person even bothers ... Yet when i got to speak to her ... I could say nothing ... do nothing ... =(
I'm lost ... I'm confused ... I'm dying ... I don't know wad to do ...

Hello

Hmm ... well well ... been very long since my last entry ...
This is a good thing =P means at least not sad news to share =D However rest assured i'm fine today ... just thought i should update my good ol' blog page with something nice for a change ...
Happy thing #1
Exams are over ! Yeah ! Freedom ! Rest ! Relaxation ! Muhahahaha *hysterical laugh* Muhahaha
Happy thing #2
Hazard Chalet ! Yoz 3D2N with my class BioHazard (1f05) on Sentosa ! =D Had lotsa fun ... Dumping into pool ... Truth or Dares ... Boom-O .... Uno ... DiaDee ... Beach Games ... Pool Games ... U name it =P Had loads of fun ! Thankz Guys ! BBQ ... mmmm ... Jumbo Dogs !
Happy thing #3
Ubin cycling trip ! OB on Ubin ... Not my idea of a success but who cares ? we had fun and the victory feast (BBQ @ Changi Beach) was good ! Lots of pictures ... Oh me and my OB brothers had a great time acting like idiots posing for photos =P Magnum Style ? HeHe ... Interested can ask me for it ...
Happy thing #4
Up and coming is X'tro Venture Camp ... The First Time Ever Adventure Power Camp by NP's 4 most solid Adventure Clubs ! NgeeAnn Poly Outward Bounders ... The Adventure Seekers ... Ngee Ann Cannoeing Club ... Adventure Rope Course club ...
Happy thing #5
Unlimited Chalet another Up N Coming Event ! More Fun impending ! HaHa
With all happy things must come sad ones too ... tt i think i don't need but its here and i've to face it =(
Sad thing #1
I'm down with flu from the lack of rest and all tt energy draining events I had...
Sad thing #2
O levels coming to an end ... this means i'll find out wads gonna be my nxt step in expects of love in my life ... I really wish Joyce would stay and cont' wad we started ...
Sad thing #3
Exams results coming out ... really scared
Sad thing #4
Outward Bounders will be out on their courses soon ... all the best ... i'll miss u lot ... i wanted so much to be with u lot ! i really really wanted to ... =(
Sad thing #5
Ah Ben gonna leave singapore ... gonna miss ya bro ...

Hmm ... Damn ~~~

Hello again ... Well seeing this as me updating my blog ... anyone who has been following my sad pathetic excuse of a life would very much know something big or bad must had happened AGAIN ... yes AGAIN and i cannot emphasize more ...
Whats wrong this time ? Well like i said in my last entry ... My life is in a total mess ... and thankz to whosoever planning my life ... THANK U really ... U couldn't make it worse could u ... First it was her ... so fine ... if its the case that i my loving her will only end up in more misery for her... I'll leave ... And seriously thanks ... she cared enough to think for me ... that part i appreciated ... But at a time when i've decided to give up ?
Now ... WHY muz u make it such tt i come across and join OB ... only to earn enough respect and acknowledgement only to eventually know that i cannot go for the goal of all these training ...
Yes .... again i must say i truely muz thank u for giving tonnes of caring friends who remains but as just friends ... friends who from where i view have a nice life ... at least that much better than mine ... N i suppose this is all to CHEER me up ? Compensate for my other misfortunes ?
True ... as compared to many others my life is fine ... but WHAT THE FUCK is it lor ... material needs are covered above average ... But NO FAMILY LIFE ... Love yes i know i'm getting a fair share but i'm not getting it the way i want it ... Love doesn't count unless one can FEEL it strongly enough ...

To Be Or Not To Be .... WAd Kinda Qnt is tt ?

To Be Or Not To Be ? Happy ? Or Sad ? Sad ? Or Happy ? Screw it ... I've HAD IT ... Life ISN"T Gonna be kind to me ... Everything that can go wrong HAS gone wrong ... Everything else that has mariclously gone right ... Ends up it all goes back down to nothing and maybe even worse ... If you kill me FINE ... at least i DIE quickly ... Other wise ... Why give me hope ? Then stab me right back again and leave me bleeding to death ? Life isn't fair ... If anyone is planning my life ... well thank u very much i suppose u are having a great time seeing me die slowly ... in your hands ...

Pray for Mayflower

HiZ ... Well as its always when i'm down and i'm sad that i find myself here on this lonely site in my room all alone ... thinking ... this time not a personal note .... but something more general something out of compassion for my juniors and theirs ... Mayflower my alma mater is now doomed a principal who exploits on the sch and wants nothing more than fame and glory for herself ... everything is now exposed on a public media ... wad shame ... nv liked her but nv thought anyone would be cruel enough to hit that rice bowl off tt old bitch's hands ... she just received a 4 year extension of principalship in mayflower days ago and now in the news comes such open accusition ... lord have mercy upon tt bitch's soul ... she may sux and she may deserve all this and more ... but she is afterall still human ... haiz ... i don't know feel like taking the chance to finish her off but feel bad after doing typing out the feedback to the press ... but she deserves it ... yet i can't pass off hurting an old husbandless bitch ... so unloved and has nothing to depend on ... for love is of such importance as i've learnt from experience ... to remain single all her life for tt i pity her ... but for everything else she did i condemn her ... HECK TO HELL WITH HER ! then again ... its too evil ... oh well u decide ... heres the report and of cos there is more to it ... she has done things worse than this ... : http://www.todayonline.com/articles/5868.asp